Saturday, February 18, 2012

Lets Glorify Housewives!

For a change, feminists and modernists need to realise that the role of housewife is bigger in a family, as compared to earning money.

In the same breath, let us understand that the money earner is not the provider of the family. The housewife provides for the family as well. She provides for the smooth running of the house. She provides time to the kids, teaching them values, mother tongue, familiarity to ethnic and cultural roots, festivals and many such soft education.

In the guise of independence and equal rights for the woman folk, there is an increasing propaganda against being a housewife, and instead in being financially independent. There are visible widespread efforts to demean the aspiration to become a good housewife.

Even a lot of mothers, under the influence of television serials, women magazines, that glorify & glamourise working women,  indoctrinate their girlchild with ideas of becoming financially independent. The child is not given a choice by explaining both the sides. She grows up shying away from being a housewife.

I dare say that you guys are completely mis-directed, misled and therefore taking the wrong approach to the right objective. You will end up missing your objective by miles in the long run.

We need equal rights for women. Attrocities against women need to be abolished. Dowry should be insulting to the male ego. There are many other woman issues that need redressals.

All of the above can be fought without de-selling the concept of housewife. It cannot come at the cost of our families, which provide upbringing to the future generations.

Arguments like joint ownership of property, dividing the monthly net income on the salary date, education and awareness of the role of housewife among male kids as well as men should be taken forward.

In Assam, it is insulting to even think of dowry. The bride has to wear everything given by the Groom's family on the day of the marriage. Men only marry when they have the guts to take care of the housewife. Similarly, bloggers and media should stress on this fact, and make it shameful for men to demand dowry.

The moot point is that the glory of being a good housewife should not be sacrificed in the guise of women independence, safety and well-being.

Girls and boys, from an young age, should be taught about their roles as husband and wife. Boys need to appreciate the critical role that girls play and vice versa. At the same time, parents need to be told about their role of being a facilitator, giving the kids all options to choose from. They should glorify the role of housewife, husband and the institution of marriage.

Marriage is another system, which is in urgent need of councel, education and parental advice. Whatever I learnt about marriage was from peers, observation and my basic instinct. Quite obviously, I turned a rebel, not having any belief in the age-old institution, ultimately making a few grave life changing mistakes.

There are many educated women going through a chaotic phase, having not married beyond the age of 27/28 years, or divorced in their early years of marriages. The chaos is primarily due to the lack of clarity of purpose, focus and priority about their role after marriage. The chaos is also because of the dis-integration of joint families into nuclear feather-less, support-less families. Partly this is due to uneven economic development concentrated around the metros/cities, and partly because of the previously mentioned lack of clarity.

I am very clear that a good housewife makes a home out of a house, a family out of cousins, a community with a distinct socio-cultural-ethnic identity, with great civic values, with pride of their mother tongue, their state and their country.

Let us glorify the role of a housewife. She is the mother nature. She gives life and a meaning to it. Let men just earn some money and pay the electricity, gas and insurance bills.

20 comments:

  1. Very good article.
    I appreciate your thoughts on housewive.

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  2. Superb writing!! Thanks for respecting women and understanding her. Hope every man reads this article and try to understand that without women life is incomplete...For a happy and successful life existence of both is required (man & woman). Thnx for the lovely writing and all the best. Keep inspiring :)

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  3. Thanks Mani. Thanks Shikha. I understand but still find it strange that women don't respect and uphold the value of a housewife. Can't blame them much. men, parents, media and maha-nagari maya are all equally responsible.

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  4. I have to type my comment again as one I posted didnt go :(

    Anyways, proud to know men like you exist :)
    Great write up :)
    And I said its all about the women who can make sacrifices, be it professional or housewife, who make the home.
    I saw my mom not choosing to work for us
    And I see my bhabhi who is an academician leaving work for yrs for my nephew.
    Trust me its about right to choose with open eye and then deciding what u want
    Its about prioritizing family over work always and the generations always worship those females.

    Time are changing, and professional is need of house. You cant ask a female who is doctor to be housewife right?
    But recently I saw a friend of mine , leave her hospital for a yr to take care of her girl....so that sacrifice counts :)

    At the end of the day we need to learn to respect and love them and we have glorified them :)

    For homes with content and happiness has the best foundations and children and it happens only if the women decide to do all for them first, before doing things for themselves :)

    Great writeup :)

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  5. The theory is..

    Housewife or you call her Homemaker...indeed makes house, a home...

    I don't think a women who stays away from work outside and makes home should only be called a housewife/homemaker...in fact, the working women force also has to carry the responsibility of making her home once she is back from the work...

    My mom was always a homemaker, that was the best thing she could do...My sister is an earner & struggles (which she mostly succeeds in)to be a good mother, a caring wife and many other roles...

    I cherish the warmth of my mom's love when we used to be back from school every afternoon...I respect my sister's decision to work out-and-inside home..

    So who anyways, is a housewife (homemaker)?

    We can't define that role and responsibility of a women, for our convenience we have just termed such words... Believe me, we (at least not me) aren't fit to define or demean or decide who exactly is a housewife?

    Biologically, nature had made male n female bodies as such...after giving birth a women needed love, care and security at the comfort of a house...her man with his physical abilities went out to fulfill those needs of the house...while she was at house she took care and turned that house into home...

    That home is still there because of you...we call you a housewife or a home maker, we just love and bask in that warmth and care of that super creature called WOMEN!!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Shashikant for your incisive comment, however my point of argument is the deglorification of the role of housewife. Girls today are embarrassed to say or think of having an aim of becoming a good housewife. It seems that modernity encourages Everybody to have a career and become financially independent. And that would bring gender equality. My argument is against that pseudo modernity, that doesn't offer a real choice to the girl child.

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    2. Secondly it would be unfair on my part to expect my wife to be working and managing the house as well. In such a case, there are two husbands and two housewives trying hard to manage the house (or chaos).

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    3. Anonymous5:54 AM

      in that case. same choice should be given to men. to be house husband. right?

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    4. I agree with you. Although the idea does not gel with the male hormones, but yes, the choice must be given.

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  6. Durlov,
    Nice thoughts just one more thought from my side is it ok if we take away the term housewife and let's call it homemaker. Also let's give the guy the option to choose to be one and the wife to earn - would that be ok too? Just why do women need to adorn the role of full-time homemaker and not men? When you want the role of housewife glorified why not it be glorified in such a manner that both guy or girl be allowed to opt for it? Will society be okay to have a house-husband and wife as primary earner? Your thoughts welcome.

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    Replies
    1. I agree with you completely. The pressure of earning to pay for a foreign trip apart from the gas, electricity and insurance bills can be too much. And there are women who can do that role better than the man she loves and decides to marry. It would be ideal.

      I agree with you and it is quite tempting to change the title of the blog to say 'homemakers'.

      However, it requires a paradigm shift in thinking and norms relevant in the current society. Today a man sitting at home is a loser, perhaps got fired from his job. Also, it is unlikely that an educated girl capable of earning a living, would love or marry a man who wants to be a house husband. Hope that happens.

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    2. Also, it is unlikely that an educated girl capable of earning a living, would love or marry a man who wants to be a house husband.
      Very correct...

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    3. Thank you for your comment, Mr. Abu.

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  7. Yes Durlov, I agree. Being a Housewife has its own charm and I advocate the power within. It is glorious and it has its own pride, let's just make it prouder for the girls (or for that men whose wife is a homemaker) to say it all aloud.

    Lovely to read you..keep writing..Cheers!!

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  8. lovely post mate.. such wonderful thoughts .. home maker, housewife are just designations... what matters is the mutual respect and understanding... role reversals happen everywhere... and making it work is what sets u apart from others...

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    1. Thanks for Weasley speaking out... I am honoured.

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    2. arunima10:14 AM

      wonderful....u understood women in true sense....and utmost u knw ur mother in true sense....

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  9. We are living in tough times. The social fabric is evolving and 'upgrading' continuously. But at what cost?

    Very pertinent thoughts... I must say we all need to Glorify the HomeMakers!!

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    Replies
    1. Yes. I would like your thoughts on how a girl child versus a boy child is raised today, generally speaking, on one of my blogs...

      A girl is always told by the mother to be independent and work towards her own identity in the society. A boy child at the same time is not taught about how to accept an working wife, about how to NOT expect a wife like his mother, who cooked, cleaned, took care of the house and got the kids ready for school etc....

      http://durlov.blogspot.in/2012/06/domestic-violence-subject-too-big-for.html

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