Transparency & Trust are mutually exclusive

Yesterday, we were having this debate about how important is to talk with accountability. That we should not say everything that you feel like saying...

My brother, who was primarily working on his laptop, suddenly gets up & shoots his salvo. You guys are talking nonsense!! Everyone should be transparent and that he is transparent and that he cares a hoot about what others feel as long as he is transparent. Then he went on to say why Govt should be transparent, politics should be transparent etc etc...

It was good that he went on his speech for some time. It made my Dad - mostly a silent self after Parkinson's got him, utter a sentence that really pushed me to the wall & made me think... and now I am blogging.

He said that "if everyone becomes transparent, it will be difficult to trust people. Our society runs on trust"

My instant reaction was that "wow, this is serious stuff!" But I didnt understand the implications fully. I wondered about how is trust related to transparency. Both trust and transparency should co-exist, as both are virtues that generations have been preaching.

Slowly it dawned on me how correct is my Dad. It became quite clear in my head that you cannot afford to be transparent if you are in a social fabric of friends, family and colleagues. As long as this world and our lives are based on trust, friendships and gossip, we cannot be transparent. If you are transparent, nobody will share their selves, as you would not keep it to yourself; and you wont have a social circuit.

It is actually a big deal to be discreet, secretive, trust-worthy and therefor non-transparent, diplomatic and political.

So you cant be transparent when it comes to the society, your family, your friends and colleagues. Sad.

Thinking deeper, actually you can never be transparent about yourself too, leave the society. Thats depression.

Let me not write further. Its better to live life like it comes to you. I wont say f the ideals, but they should be cursory in the periphery guiding you from going insane to the society at large.