It was my day of Introspection

Do you get this feeling of just running away into another world unknown? Today that was the mood of my day.


Naturally, it was my introspection day. A day that must save my days and my life.


As we grow being a toddler to a runner, we learn to ask questions, to absorb new sights, to ask for toffees by every minute, to play a new game and the list is endless. We go to school and collect new experiences. We go to college and learn to smoke, to drink, and of course, to woo girlfriends. 


Then we start earning. We start hunting for the best job. We aspire to drive the best bike and then the best possible car.


This exponential series of adapting to and accepting new things, learning new tricks of the trade slowly but surely gets us all into the virtual realm of Maya. Maya that is addictive. Maya that is overwhelming. 


One Sunday afternoon, I vividly remember my father saying, 'I want to stop having mutton'. Then I had asked, why on earth do you want to quit mutton. He said, I am completing a natural cycle of taking everything and then trying to leave everything. I thought, "whatever" and continued chewing the tasty liver.


Today I suddenly understand what he meant. I am starting on my next phase of life - the phase of giving up and giving back.


This is my 12th year of my professional life. 11th year of slogging in Mumbai.


I have already given up cold drinks, given up chocolates (almost), given up sweets (almost), trying to give up smoking (which perhaps would always be 'trying to'). Today, I feel like giving up Mumbai.


I don't mean the city. I mean the life. (unfortunately, the city and the life are conjoint twins)


We cant give up earning and the chaos that you have to go through to earn a decent life. But we sure can give up the crazy decibels, crazy traffic, crazy working hours, crazy cost of living, and the smoke filled, dust filled star-less sky.


It is also a time to give back. It is a time give back what I have learnt, what I have experience and what I have earned. 


Its a time to give back the love that my parents showered. Would they ever come to Mumbai to stay with me. Never. So should I go back to Assam and be with them in their lonely times?


Its a time to give back to the society. To start counseling the youths to make a career. To help a bit to take Assam into an economic growth trajectory. To start contributing to culture, to preserve and promote it. 


Did I get enough time to think clearly and to arrive at some resolutions. Of course, not. Mumbai hardly gives you that much personal space and time. I had another great busy day. Quite a lot of problem solving, delegation and management was done.


I perhaps need another day of Introspection !