Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Is Marriage the only ultimate weapon to kill loneliness?

Its my never ending quest on questioning the convention of marriage. I have questioned it from so many points of view during discussions, during my dreamy moments. Finally it would be best to put pen to blogging for documentation sake.

One such question is: Is marriage the only weapon to kill loneliness? Or rather why is marriage the only weapon to kill loneliness?

I know so many boys and girls doing well in life but lonely. My brother, My friends who are yet to get married, My colleagues. They are so frustrated and incapacitated by loneliness that I see them changing their stance on marriage. I see them considering marriage as the only saviour to their lonely dinner time, lonely weekends, lonely life.

Ultimately everyone of us wants to marry... in hopelessness of loneliness knowing well that marriage may not be the ideal solution.

So, how does a working woman and a man find a partner for companionship?

Mumbai is the most glamourous, free, liberated city in the country. It is the city of dreams, city that is thought to be a haven of casual frivolity, of casual companionship, of casual sex. However I see hopelessness of loneliness more pronounced in Mumbai. Are we liberated enough to seek partners?

Mumbai is known to be one of the safest city with girls having no fear to travel and be outside of home at night. Yet we dont speak to strangers. we dont smile at strangers. How does a girl go about talking to a stranger boy in an upmarket pub without being considered cheap, or worse slutty. A up market pub has a homogeneous set of people and is a opportune place to meet likely minded people. But how?

Most of the couples meet each other through common friends. I am talking of working men and women. College days are a bit out of scope for this blog. So if common friends cant help..

We spent most of our waking hours in office and hence the only place to meet people. But we are all very professional to understand that office and personal life is best kept separately.

So when loneliness strikes, the only option becomes marriage. We start looking towards, towards parents et al for the next available opportunity to get married.

If only I could make Mumbai more natural, liberated, social and approachable? And thus marriage wont have to become the only weapon to kill loneliness.


  1. Dimpy Mahanta4:44 PM

    very well expressed!!

  2. Thanks Dimpy. From the time when we are kids we are taught to be wary of strangers.. and then the fear keeps building onto other perspectives as well.

  3. A very interesting point of view...
    I guess one has got used to the idea that everyone gets married so it does look like an ideal solution. Whatever else anybody does I feel one should only marry when one is really matured and ready for it.

    Marriage is meant for companionship, support, friendship... so using it for a purpose it was created seems like a sensible thing to do.
    I wouldn't advise a young girl to smile at or go out with strangers!
    I guess not just pubs, classes (Salsa, Yoga, Reiki, Photography, Drums, Guitar, French, Karate can be joined at any age) also introduce newer people.
    A passion (or a hobby) is a great cure for loneliness!!

  4. Thanks IHM.

    Dont you think a hobby ultimately falls short when it comes to a lively interaction...

    We need to be more social. Have you seen 500 days of Summer? Does that actually happen that a girl likes someone and doesnt confuse him to be her husband?

    A great movie. And a great insight.


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